Sunday, December 30, 2007

Dr. Huckabee’s Amazing Liquid Jesus Elixir!

Dear Doctor Huckabee, I want to thank you for your fabulous elixir. A friend of mine took
me to your revival in East Hoytsville last year and I admit I was skeptical. I had to be
wheeled into the tent because of my metastasized bunions and I was a little loopy due to
4700 mg of Hypochondrazine which is the only thing that allowed me to leave my bed. I was greatly impressed by the healings and laying on of hands but when you fed your elixir to that poor young man and he dropped his walker well, I knew I had to try some. I was very grateful that you let me sign my Welfare Check over in lieu of cash to purchase a months supply of Dr. Huckabee’s Amazing Liquid Jesus Elixir!. I have been pouring it over my Cocopuffs every morning and massaging it into my hair during my weekly bath. While I do this I cross my eyes and kiss my picture of Micheal Dukakis while reciting the Pledge of Allegiance backwards. I am pleased to report that after taking Dr. Huckabee’s Liquid Jesus Elixir! my Doctor says that my bunions are no longer metastasized! I can leave my bed to change the channel on my TV and pick up my welfare check without the help of my cat Bernice! Thank you! You are a Saint! Enclosed is my payment for another 2 months supply of Dr. Huckabee’s Liquid Jesus Elixir! Next time I hope you can please come to Hoytsville proper as East Hoytsville is 1.5 miles away and George Bush’s Fascist public transit system is woefully inadequate. I hope you win so that God will finally be in office. P.S. Tell God I love him. (can you get me an autograph?)
P.P.S. Bernice says Hi!

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